Harmony on the Home Front

California Sunset

     When I was young, my mother had a friend who lived most of her life in Holland. I always had to pay close attention to what she was saying because of her strong accent. She had many interesting stories about the war her country was involved in and the many things they had to endure. In Holland they were starving. She told of the time her 6 year old son was so weak he could not walk. She put him in the baby stroller as they went looking for scraps of food and small pieces of coal. As a young girl I had never experienced such conditions. I always had food to eat and a warm home to keep me safe and comfortable.

     The sad part of this story is that when this family came to America and had the necessities of life, something happened to them. They didn't get along with each other.  In fact they seemed to be at odds with each other more than at peace. One of their married daughters bought a home right next to the parents.  I remember the time our families got together during the holidays and the daughter’s family didn’t come. The parents explained in their Dutch accent that a disagreement turned into an argument over something 6 months previous and they refused to speak to each other. Six months! I had never heard such a thing. They lived next door and neither would speak to each either. I later found out it was over something very minor, yet both were waiting for the other to apologize first.

     I can’t help but compare that story to the real unjust treatment Nephi received from his brothers. On numerous occasions they tried to kill him. It took an angel to stop them on one occasion. And God himself almost sunk their ship into the sea using a terrible tempest before they realized they had but one choice, either let Nephi go and apologize to him, or they would all die in the storm. Nephi,  of all people had a reason to hold a grudge, yet he didn’t. He always forgave them. That is a great lesson, first of all to freely forgive, always. I find the word freely very interesting.  Nephi wasn’t coerced or forced to forgive, he did it on his own, wanting with great desire to forgive.  Second, sometimes it is necessary to be the first to forgive and not wait, for as time goes on the contention becomes escalated.  But Nephi was the innocent brother!  Why should he forgive, he had wronged no one?  That gives one something to think about.  Family members have to go out of their way to keep harmony among themselves. They are also the easiest to have issues with, because they are so closely connected and it’s very easy to see each other’s faults.  

     Is there a connection between people facing extreme difficulties yet they seem to pull together, other times when all their necessities are taken care of and abundance seems to abound, contention is the ruins of a once loving family? Sometimes great difficulties bring families closer than they have ever been.   What a tragedy to not say I love you and forgive those we care the most about.

Remember, you don't forgive someone for his or her sake

 - you forgive them for your sake.