Dream

Flowers in Birmingham

     I just read a wonderful article about worshiping the Lord by singing hymns.  It reminded me of when I was called to be the Primary Chorister almost 30 years ago.   I have served in almost every position that women can serve in, many of them twice.  But being called as a chorister was the most frightening calling in my whole life, because I didn’t sing.  Really, back then I didn’t ever sing.  I couldn’t carry a tune and I didn’t want to embarrass those around me so I never sang.  Now if I had of been asked to speak at Stake Conference to 500 people, fine, but sing,  I had a real phobia and I told this to the Bishop thinking he would be overly compassionate and understanding.  In my mind it was equivalent to asking someone to play the piano that had never touched the keys.   My Bishop simply said “It’s just children”.  That didn’t make any difference to me because I didn’t sing.  I told him to let me think about it and I would get back to him.  I had been taught not to ever turn down a church calling, yet it was appropriate to give the Bishop additional information about your circumstances.  It was of no avail, now I was going to have to pray about this and see if the Lord wouldn’t soften the heart of my Bishop so he would understand my fears.  Well I did, and HE didn’t.

     That Sunday night when I went to bed it was with a heavy heart and sometime in the night I had a dream.  I don’t remember all the details because I didn’t write it down but I do remember I was in a line waiting my turn to report on my earth’s experiences to the Savior. I was devastated when I was turned away because I didn’t or wouldn’t sing. I woke up shaken and decided I better learn to sing or I would not progress.  I took the calling and sweated profusely every Sunday as the children taught me how to sing and eventually learned to enjoy it. I don’t know why I had that dream,  I honestly felt I could not make it to the celestial kingdom unless I sang.

Many years have passed since then and I have overcome my feelings of inadequacy about singing.  I have even been in a few church choirs.  I don’t have enough confidence to sing a solo but singing the hymns have become my favorite part of each meeting.  I keep a CD of the hymn’s from my favorite signing group  in my car where I can listen and sing along with them, mingling my voice in with theirs and I sound pretty good.