Mistakes

     I hate the feeling I have inside when I make mistakes.  I know it well, because I have made plenty of them. It's a yucky wormy feeling that consumes me.  I keep thinking over and over every detail of what I should have done instead of what I did.

     Because I am so experienced in this, I have learned a few things over the years that have helped.  First, I repent instantly, repair, replace, apologize what ever it takes to get over it.  I totally cover in my mind everything that shouldn't have been done, or said, or didn't do, or didn't say and make sure I rehearse how it should have been handled.  Then I try really hard to not allow the energy to go over and over the yuck, but to put it to constructive use, in the repairing process.

     Years ago, a friend of mine made a big mistake.....major.  I felt so bad for my friend, that it started to consume me, I felt the pain and the anguish to the point that I could hardly sleep at night.  In the middle of the 3rd night I woke and wrote this poem:

Mistakes

Terrible mistakes.

Mistakes

I  can't erase.

I've begged forgiveness

It's not accepted

I'm rejected.

I'm sick inside

I want to die.

I'm humiliated and alone

No one understands my pain

I'll never be the same.

I care!

You are my child

I can heal you

 It will take awhile.

I'm beside you

Take my hand

I'll show you what to do.

Turn to me

don't stay away.

I hold the keys

that turn night into day.

Can you feel me?

I'm your best friend.

Knock down your walls

and let me in.

Just give me a chance

I'm here for you

I know how you feel

I've been there too-

Let me take over

you can't do it alone.

Pain and suffering

is what I have known.

I can mend

I can heal

I can make you whole

I am real.

I am your Savior

you are my son.

The price has been paid

Your're free to come.

I am the warm coat

on a stormy day.

Please let me stay.

I am the pillow that comforts your

head and gives you rest.

Let me be your guest.

I am the food that feeds your soul

when there is no other.

I am your brother.

I am the shoes that protect your 

feet from the journey.

You needn't worry.

I am the breeze that cools you 

from the blistering heat.

I'll guide your feet.

I am the sun that brings light

into your life.

Please

 let me in.

I am the rainbow that can bring
hope of a better day.
Just look my way.

I am the water that quenches
your thirst after being without.
Don't doubt.

I am the arms that cradle you
when there is no one.
It can be done.

I am your counselor who
knows your broken heart.
I'll never part.

I am the Father that will
say all the right words.
I'm yours.

I am the I Am
and I am here for you
My door is always open.
Please open yours too.