Fire --

Devastation of fire on our property in Idaho

Fire

     I have been thinking a lot lately about Tender Mercies and I remember the rip roaring fire we experienced in Idaho at our cabin.  It consumed hundreds of acres and everything was charcoal black for miles and miles. 

     I was in an early morning meeting at the church as the Relief Society president when a knock came to the Bishop’s door.  It was my husband John,  I knew immediately something was wrong or he would never interrupt a meeting at the church.  He motioned for me and I promptly left.  He said our cabin was burned and we needed to go up and secure what was left. 

     We rode up there with some of our children that lived in the area and it was the most sickening feeling ever.  For miles and miles before our property everything was black.  When we approached our property even our mailbox was burnt to the ground.  I have never witnessed such devastation first- hand and close up before.

     Our cabin is quite a ways off the road and secluded so we couldn’t immediately see the damage.  When we turned the last corner we could see the cabin still standing with the porch burnt and the front doors burnt and part of the floor in the great room. 

     The man from the fire force met us there and told us his side of the story:

     There had been a fire the evening before that was started, they presumed, from the electrical plant several miles away.  He was on the crew that was trying to save homes .  He had started digging a fire ring around our home and fire repellent had been sprayed from a plane had been sprayed from a plane from above.  The wind  kicked up and his boss said “forget that cabin because no one lives there, it is only used part-time."  He went to leave to get the next property and he saw the children’s large plastic jungle gym and felt sorry for our grandkids so he completed the fire ring and then hurried to the farm a mile ahead.  As he looked back at the cabin on his way out of our driveway he saw a big fireball jump the fire line and it looked to him that it was consuming the cabin.  After his day’s work he reported to the paper that our cabin was lost.

     The next morning he felt impressed to drive up to our property to see if there was anything left.  He was shocked to see the cabin still standing.  He saw it all being consumed with his own eyes the evening before.  However when he stepped out of his truck he noticed that our wooden porch had just started on fire and was burning the front door.  He quickly grabbed his portable fire extinguisher and busted open the door and put out the fire.  The cabin was full of smoke and he opened all the windows and threw outside about a 5 foot square of burnt wooden floors.  Then he saw our phone number and called us. 

     As amazing as all that was I found another tender mercy……I had two special areas on the property where I had put hammocks up and they were surrounded by trees.  I called them “my secret gardens”. I loved to go there to think, be alone and meditate, write in my journal and pray.  When the TV and the noise level reached a decibel I couldn’t handle I would gather my pencil and paper together and go there.  Only a few grandchildren even knew where they were because they were quite hidden.  I  was surprised when we went to see the remains of my special areas that the hammocks were both still standing and the two trees holding them up were not burned and there was green grass underneath them while everything for miles around were charred.

Fire fighter that saved our cabin twice

     I cried tears of joy when I saw those two areas spared from the torched surroundings.  What a tender mercy just for me to be reminded that I am loved and cared for from above.

Tender Mercies

Tender Mercies

     In October 23, 1989, I had the opportunity to go to the Sacred Grove with my parents, our oldest daughter Christine and oldest son Aaron.  It was a free trip because we had frequent flyer miles from a trip we took to Istanbul, Turkey.  Because Christine was working as a Nanny in Pennsylvania we decided to fly back to see her and some Historical Church sights.  It was a wonderful trip and I wanted to share one tender mercy that was extended to us. 

     It was late in October in 1989, my brother Steve was driving and we were in Palmyra, New York, and anxiously awaiting to experience the Sacred Grove.  I had been there previously and wanted my children to have a similar experience.  I noticed that we were probably a few weeks too late because all the trees were bare and the leaves that were on the ground had turned brown.  When I had been there before I remembered the brilliant fall leaves on the trees.  As we arrived at the Joseph Smith home, which is directly across the street from the grove the first thing I noticed was there were leaves on the trees.  It was amazing; I had my brother drive back and forth to both edges of the property to verify that there were no leaves on any trees on either side of the property.  It was true, not a leaf on any tree.  When we walked into the grove there were also plenty of leaves on the ground in all their magnificent colors that crunched as we walked on that beautiful October day.

     The picture above is of my parents, I, Christine, and Aaron.  My brother Steve was taking the picture as he stood on the porch of the Joseph Smith home.  It was a special moment I have not forgotten and recognize God’s hand at all times in my life.  

I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are available to all of us and that the Redeemer of Israel is eager to bestow such gifts upon us.

David Bednar

One Day at a Time

  

One Day At A Time

Megan and Ashlee

   A country singer named Christy Lane turned Christian and become quite famous singing the song “One day at a Time”.  This song means a great deal to me because of some difficulties I have had in my life, and I would not have survived them had I spent my energy worrying about tomorrow or next week.  I will give one example:

      After our daughter Christine passed away, I couldn’t just walk away and leave her 8 children, so I stayed on doing what I could.  The Andersen family lived 2 hours from my home in Ogden, so I stayed at my daughter Emily’s house, just a block away from the Andersen's in a small bedroom in the basement, and would go over to Christine’s home each morning. One particular night,  I was not feeling well and I allowed my mind to worry about the future.  How long was I going to be there, a year, 5 years?  I became anxious and didn’t know where to turn so I turned to the Lord. In prayer I asked “How long am I going to need to be here?  When can I return home to North Ogden?  The answer that came to me was this: “Don’t go there, don’t think about it, and don’t worry about it.  You are here today.  Do the best you can and enjoy your grandchildren”.  That was it.  I followed that advice and from then on I would not allow my mind to worry even about the next day, I just took one day at a time.

     Little did I know at the time, the good Lord had a plan and was setting it all into place?  A wonderful woman was being prepared to step into this family and love and care for my grandchildren and son-in-law.  That advice has helped me since then when I was told that cancer had returned to my body with a vengeance.  All I ever have is one day at a time, and everything is in the Lord’s hands.  Here are the words to the song I have loved for a dozen years:

I'm only human; I'm just a woman
Help me believe in what I could be and all that I am
Show me the stairway
I have to climb
Lord for my sake
Teach me to take
One day at a time

One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Give me the strength to do everything that I have to do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time.

Could you remember
When you walked among men
Jesus, you know when you're looking below
It's worse now than then
Pushin' and shovin' crowd in your mind
Lord for my sake
Teach me to take
One day at a time

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace. ~Author Unknown

Wet, White and Wonderful

Wet, White and Wondrous

     It was Christmas Eve, and the snow was 2 feet deep as we were about to experiencing our first Christmas at the family cabin in Idaho.  John and I, Brian and his family were going to spend Christmas surrounded in the mystical snow covered 36 acres.  It was nature at its very best time of the year.   The rest of the family would join us on Christmas day. 

     Every window in the cabin was a picture perfect scene, looking out as everything was white, every tree, every weed even every vehicle.  It was as beautiful a sight as I have ever seen.  The night was light; the snow was glistening from the moonlight, it almost took my breath away. I could have just sat there and stared out the window for hours.  We had a nice dinner and helped put the children to sleep, Shelby, Weston and Colby before Santa came. 

     It was that evening I decided that white was my favorite color.  The next day the kids were able to sleigh ride on the hillside and we all enjoyed the wonders of nature.  In 2007 I wrote a poem about snow, and it came to me that as beautiful as snow is, it is just a cover-up.  It covers up the yuck, just like we sometimes do with our sins, cover them and try to forget them.

Snow

It covers the ground,

Like a blanket covering a child.

Hiding the imperfections of the earth,

obnoxious weeds, lawn and dirt.

Sometimes we hide our sins,

Burying them deep inside,

Afraid of guilt and worldly fear,

Hoping, they’ll just disappear.

Soon the snow will melt,

The bare ground will be exposed.

The world can see first hand

the imperfections of the land.

Someday our sins will be exposed,

for the entire world to see.

Don’t wait to bring them out of hiding!

Where good should be residing.

Bring them up from deep below!

God will take them you know.

He wants to remove all your sin,

                                         So you can be free and beautiful again.

We have a strange illusion that mere time cancels sin. But mere time does nothing either to the fact or to the guilt of a sin. --CS Lewis 

Counting Stars --

Nathan  age 4

     Hope is the best gift that one can ever receive.  This story touched me deeply when I heard it:

     Paul Shin returns to Korea after 50 years, and the memories of the past flood his mind.  He was 4 years old when his mother died and his father left him.  He lived with his grandmother until he was 6, then left as he felt he was only another mouth to feed, so he ran away.   He lived alone as a urchin on the streets of Seoul and slept at the train station.  His way of falling asleep and not thinking of his hunger was to count stars.  He missed his mother, so he would count stars.  Because he was so lonely he counted stars.  Because he felt hopeless he counted stars.  By counting stars, he began to see dreams and hopes of a future.  Then a real star came into his life.

     A young dentist (Ray Paull) in the United States army hired him as a house boy for 7 officers as a young teen.  Even though there were hundreds of other destitute youngsters available.  Ray inspired him and gave him hope.  He had never been treated with such kindness in his life.  They became friends.  Ray taught him the gospel and gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon.  Paul didn’t speak English but wanted to read the book so he learned English through a Korean/English dictionary.  He read that book 5 times the next year.

     Their relationship became as a father and a son.  In 1962 Ray decided to adopt Paul, but because of immigration delays it took over 3 years for him to come to America.  Paul had never spent a day in a classroom but wanted to be educated, with help from his new family and ward members he studied and passed the high school equivalency exams in 1956.  Soon after he went to BYU and graduated and then went to the University of Pittsburgh and received his Doctorate in history from the University of Washington.

     Despite the bitterness that could have been his, he has also found forgiveness.  Then in 1988 he served as mission president in Korea, he sought for and found his biological father, living in poverty.  After many awkward conversations, Brother Shin asked his father why he left.  With great emotion, the older man said that at the time he was being sold as a servant and could not take his son.  “I had condemned him”  Poverty is not a crime.  So he apologized to his father and said, “Pack your bags.”  He brought him to live with his family in Washington for the rest of his life.

 Speaking of the effect of the atonement in his life, Brother Shin said:  “Without that, you couldn’t forgive." I had a harsh life. The world was hostile, but the gospel has softened my heart.”

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

Shoes and the Stranger

John's new shoes

     It was summer in 2001 and we were on our way to Lake Powell for a exciting trip on a houseboat with our friends the Mike and Jan Cain.       Elizabeth was with us, as well as our son-in-law and his three oldest children, McKensey and Cody and McKaila.  It was about 6:00 in the morning and the sun was just coming over the horizon and we were out in the middle of nowhere when we saw a man walking.  We hadn’t noticed a car anywhere so he wasn’t stranded, and he wasn’t hitchhiking.  My husband had a feeling he needed to stop and see if he needed help.  He circled around to get a better look and sure enough there was this small Hispanic man walking briskly, going in our direction, John talked to Ronnie, our son-in-law and they both agreed to stop.  I was in the back seat of the car with the kids and was hesitant; after all, we had precious cargo on board.  John pulled over and asked him if he would like a ride.  He checked us over real well and then agreed.  He jumped in and bit by bit he told his story. 
      He lived in New Mexico and was walking all the way to Denver to attend a funeral of a relative.  Walking all the way, we were all shocked.  He had been on the road for several days.  I had never known anyone who would walk those distances.

     A hour later we were ready to take our separate roads we pulled over to the gas station to say farewell to our new friend, my husband bought him some food and noticed that his shoes were worn out with holes in the bottom of them.  He asked him what size he wore and then my husband removed his new shoes from off his feet and gave them to him.  We wished him well and continued on the road to Lake Powell.  John spend the week without shoes, except for his water shoes, he knew this man needed them a lot more than he did.

John entertaining the Missionaries with his
 ventriloquism talents

    We had a great time on the houseboat, but the thing we all remember the most, was the man walking to Denver and the pair of shoes my husband so generously gave him.

While earning your daily bread,
be sure you share a slice
with those less fortunate

John's wood carvings

The cabin John built

Expectations

mountain ride

High Expectations

     As a parent of seven children, we have spent a considerable amount of time in disciplining our children.  When they were really young, it was mostly safety concerns.  As they became older, our time was spent teaching them what they could not do, especially to each other.  When they became teens, most of our effort was put into encouraging them to do what was right.  It was never easy to correct them, but it was necessary.  Now they are grown, it is even harder to correct them and so we resort to encouraging them only when the timing is right.

     Because our Heavenly Father has such high expectations for us (be ye therefore perfect) he too spends whatever time is necessary to correct us, disciplining us  to keep us safe, teach us what we cannot do and encourage us to do what is right.  Sometimes we listen and obey like small children, other times, we don’t  listen to him like teenagers who think they know everything, he simply wanted to tell us and warn us of dangers up ahead.  Now that I am older, I see how he has guided me throughout the years, yet at the time I sometimes resented the very things that helped me the most.  Being chastised!   It hurts, the Holy Ghost knows how to make me feel awful inside.  I wish I knew and understood the role of the Holy Ghost better years ago. Oh what a blessing it has been to be chastised over the years, to be warned and counseled.

Sometimes I have felt like I have had difficult times even when I didn’t deserve them.  I learned that I was being tried to see if I would be patient and have faith.  He wanted to see if I would trust in him no matter what.

     Being chewed out by the Lord actually has great benefits.  Number one, it has persuaded me to repent.  Number two, it has refined and sanctified me and number three, it has redirected my course in life.  After all, how to I know what is best for me?  My Heavenly Father knows all things, and wants to keep me on that straight and narrow path. 

     Correction can also come through others, especially those who are God inspired. Apostles, prophets, patriarchs, bishops as well as parents can and must help correct those they have stewardship over.  Even a spouse can and should gently correct when necessary.  By chastening me he is actually steering my future in the direction it needs to go, which I could not envision at the time.  As each trial passes and my faith grows stronger I enjoy a special bond with the Lord.  So now I can look back and see the course my life has taken and it was for the good and I wish I had not resisted correction along the path.

     I will never forget the day our first son was born and died.  Not only was it devastating, but I couldn’t see the future and thought I would morn that baby all the days of my life.  John was no longer able to be deferred in the army because we did not have children.  He joined the Coast Guard because the draft could have come any day and he would have had to fight in the army during the Vietnam War.  I thought this was a terrible burden put upon us; he went to boot-camp then to some special training on an island in New York.  I joined him there and had many testimony building experiences living away from home.  I lived alone 5 days out of the week because he was only allowed to leave the base on weekends.  It was a big growth experience in all areas of my life.  Now I can look back and see the Lord’s hand in shaping me and teaching me to rely upon HIM.

     The Lord taught me something a few years ago that has helped me immensely, “stop worrying about not being perfect and worry only about being perfectly obedient.”  That was profound to me because I did worry all the time about not being perfect.  I felt there was so much asked of me and I just couldn’t do it all. This profound insight helped me get a grip on perfection and it seems more attainable.  This I could do!

    

“What God says is best, is best,

 though all the men in the world are against it.”
― John Bunyan